So I was asked by the church I grew up in to do an article for their monthly newsletter. It was to be a reflective piece about a time (while in the navy) that God showed up in my life. I struggled with this assignment for a while, but then this came to me…
Looking back on my time in the Navy, there are many situations that stand out to me in which I know that God was in the mist. actually, all of the situations that took place God was in the mist. For that reason I cannot sit here and write about just one because it took the situations as a collective to get me here. That’s my testimony, my story, my lesson; the “everywhere-ness” of God. Its something that you learn early on as a child growing up in the Church. Its one of the first things you learn about God, that He’s “omni-present” or everywhere at once. You hear it over and over and it becomes one of things you just know. However, until recently, I didn’t quite understand it.
One of my favorite affirmations state that “No matter the good or bad, its all there for your good in the end. It all contains a lesson and lessons are good for you.” I try to remind myself of this whenever I’m going through a not-so desired experience. This has been one of my affirmations since high school. While I was in Job Corps I began to associate a comforting feeling to that affirmation. A feeling of “God’s got this. Through it all, the good or the bad, God’s got this.” And He does.
See along with learning that God is omni-present, you learn that God is all knowing (which is self explanatory). When you put those two understandings together you come to the realization that God, knowing you better than you know yourself, can show up in your life and be whoever and whatever you need Him to be in that moment. Knowing the true desires of your heart and having already pre-destined your path before your conception and birth, God is even in the bad or not-so desired experiences that we go through. It’s all a part of His Master Plan for our lives. Our only true responsibility in this life is to learn the lessons and to follow His path for our lives. I’ve known and understood this about God for a long time but it wasn’t until March of 2012 that I began to implement and practice this lesson in my own life.
I spent a great deal of time hating my mother for sending me to Job Corps. I felt like it wasn’t where I was supposed to be. A lot went on that I really didn’t care for and in the beginning I just hated the entire experience. No matter how much I reminded myself of my affirmation I didn’t believe it. It was just words because there was no was that being in Job Corps was for my good. But then I graduated. Although it wasn’t where I wanted to be, I was in a better place leaving the program than I was when I first entered. Similarly, after joining the Navy, I began to resent the decision. I questioned and beat myself up mentally on a daily and deep down I just knew that it wasn’t where I was supposed to be. Then I was connected with my life coach and through working with her and watching how she lives her life, I realized that I had the tools and knowledge but I wasn’t applying it in my life. But now, since I know better, I’m doing better.
Looking back on my life and specifically focusing on the last year while being in the Navy, I have learned how to trust God. To really trust Him. I’ve learned not to get so caught up in how the lesson feels more so than what the lesson is so that I don’t have to feel it again and can experience the life I was destined to live. But most importantly I’ve learned to be just as grateful for the painful lessons as I am for the pleasant ones. It’s that humility that allows you to truly trust the process and believe that comforting feeling of God got it. Because He does. Through the good and the bad, God’s got it all.
Every morning I wake up and the first thing I do, after acknowledging that God has woken me up, is turn to my phone, go to my emails, and read The Daily Love (TDL) for that day. It’s a wonderful way to start off your morning and gets you thinking and reflecting on how your inner you effects the world as you precieve it. It gets your heart gears turning and working and you can’t help but to think about the Inner love that Mastin, the blogger and creator of TDL, is opening you up to for that day. It’s really positive and I just can’t get enough. So below I’ve attached a link to the very email that I received this morning. It’s also where I got my affirmation for today. So enjoy and feel free to sign up to receive your very own piece of Daily Love.
This is my outlook on my time here in the Navy. I joined the Navy for two things: College and Travel. I have seen places that I never thought I’d see. May sound crazy but for the longest Cali seemed like I white girl’s rich fantasy to a lil hood brown skinned girl like me. I have met some interesting people…some of them I like, some of them I don’t. And I have obtained some knowledge on things that most 20 year olds from my neck of the woods don’t even know they could contemplate wanting to learn about. And this is all the surface blessings I have received. I haven’t even began to talk about the transformation within that I have seen. I no longer that scared young adult who was afraid to go home and get stuck. I’m no longer that young adult who felt inadequate because society doesn’t look at a high school diploma, let alone a GED. No, I’m not the same girl that I was coming into this. And I wont be the same girl once this is all over. And for all of this I am so very grateful and blessed.
I want to stay in. I do. Not to “protect and serve”…but I realize I made a commitment and Im not one to break a promise. I also have invested too much of my time in this to be forced to walk away with nothing. Not to mention, I came in with a goal and I want to see it thru. I have mentally put things in motion and how dare I come this far to short myself out of my dreams. And lets not forget that Im growing, maturing, and my Spirit feels that I still have some lessons to learn from this experience and I don’t think this stage in my life is complete yet.
The serenity prayer. I have been battling with it for a few weeks now and I think right now, in this moment I am getting it. I pray for the serenity to accept the XO’s decision to morrow if it is not in my favor…and if it is, then I thank God for the courage He’s instilled in me to change things for the better…..and right now, in this moment, I thank God for giving me the wisdom to know the difference AND be ok with both sides of this coin. Because like I said, I know, it has already worked out for my good.
With all this being said, I shall rest my eyes, my mind, body and Spirit and conclude my day with a lil Sade…be blessed fam and thank you all for your prayers and support! Much love & GN!!!